Gems from The Eternal Journey - Part 2

Alhamdulillah the course has successfully ended yesterday with lots of beneficial `ilm to be taken away. I pray that Allah will grant me the tawfique to impart the knowledge into my life and to always uphold it to the best of my ability, inshaAllah. Mixed emotions of sad and joy has always filled in my heart every time the courses ended. Joy because of the `ilm learned and sad because of not wanting so bad to leave the class. 

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Gems from The Eternal Journey - Part 1

Alhamdulillah, The Eternal Journey Week 1 has successfully ended. Too much have been studied and learned from Sh. Reda Bedeir. This course (TEJ) is all about tafseer of Juz Tabarak, which is the 29th Juz in the Quran that consists mainly the topic of akheerah. I would like to share some gems from the course that are indeed so beneficial to all of us, inshaAllah. I am so impressed and amazed at Sheikh Reda when he quoted so many verses from the Quran just from the back of his head, complete with not only chapter numbers but also the verse numbers as well. Subhanallah

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Comment on Obedient Wife Club`s statement

Salam. There was a big public outcry over the statement of President of OWC , Dr Rohaya in which she said a woman should serve her husband like a first class prostitute. Upon reading the statement from a newspaper , I instantly agree with her statement without thinking much that other people would falsely interpret it. I believe what she meant was that a wife should treat her husband like what a prostitute does when she receives a client. I read from somebody`s post in FB i think, in which she said when the client entered the room, the prostitute would take him to shower, bath him with her hands, then after that she would cut his fingernails or at least do sort of manicure to him..all these actions are done with the purpose to sooth him out and make him calm. Walla! That is basically what a good wife should do, not a prostitute! But it seems that the wrong people have taken care of that. But i think maybe very little number of wives who actually do the same thing what the prostitute do to those men. 

I came across with the note from Dr Harlina Harliza Siraj commenting on the statement made by Dr Rohaya, the president of OWC:

I was in Sitiawan when I first heard about the report on the launching of the Obedient Wives Club by Global Ikhwan last week.The first question that hit my mind then was, what neccesitates the setting up of such a club in this country? What are the main objectives and what does such club aspire to achieve? When the launching was highlighted by all the media in the country and of course, by some international news agencies as well – the key point quoted from the Deputy President of the club, Dr Rohaya Mohamad (who was my senior in Seri Puteri as well as in UKM more than 20 years ago) was somewhat shocking.

I would like to think that Dr Rohaya's statement was taken out of contact, when she was quoted to say that wives must be extremely good and skillful in bed, better than the first-class prostitutes or sex workers, to keep marriages intact and reduce the divorce rate in the country. I immediately realized, this comparison was going to be explosive, sensational and would stir up a lot of concerns from members of the public. I decided to give the club some time – at least they should almost immediately, come out with an official statement to clarify and correct the misperception that had somewhat tarnished the reputation and good image of wives in general. Although subsequent follow-up by a news agency indicated that  some members of the club agreed that the statement was taken out of context, there was no official statement of clarification issued by the club, at least by Dr Rohaya herself as the representative. Not that I know of, untll the time this note is completed.

So, what now? I am all out for any collective effort that promotes and protects the sanctity of marriages in our society. However, I have problems with proposed solutions that are simplistic and somewhat superficial, unbalanced and non-holistic. And as far as I am concerned, the suggestions by OWC are included into that category. I am sure we can do better than just looking at women as sexual objects, and men as individuals govern solely by their raging testorones. How can we garner and enrich the sense of respect, mutual interdependence and genuine care that are paramount for our well-being, if we still regard each other by levels of superiority and inferiority, obedience and disobedience based on sexual submission?

In the eyes of Allah, we all stand tall and proud as `ahsani taqwim' – the best creatures ever created.

But,in the eyes of men, where do women stand?

Allow me to suggest an answer to that question. In the eyes of men, women would be seen as how they ( women) see themselves. If we engage ourselves into thinking that a woman's worth is mainly focussed at her sexual prowessness, how else more do we want men to see us?

After all, sexuality is a very complex yet essential part of our life. It is influenced by so many factors – either externally as well as internally. A woman will face a decline in her libido or sexual desire during pregnancy, breastfeeding, depression and climacteric. So does a man, who has his own ups and downs throughout his life. And I always believe, sexual intercourse is actually the peak form of communication between husband and wife. If the couple hardly communicate during the day ( either verbally or non-verbally), they would not be able to fulfill their physical, cognitive, emotional and spiritual needs during the sexual intecourse that night. If couple could communicate openly to each other especially on sexual matters, I do not think we need a club like OWC.

Wallahu a'lam.

I really would like to see my dear Dr Rohaya Mohamad aka K.Aya one day, InsyaAllah. And we'll talk, like we used to - as sisters. And as always, we will agree to disagree...........

Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj

There`s Nothing Wrong With This Marriage

There was this beautiful woman, who wanted to get married, but she wanted a very pious husband, so she said that she’ll marry the man who recites the whole Quran every single day, fasts for the whole year and stays awake and worships Allah all throughout the night.

She was a very beautiful woman, and a lot of suitors wanted to marry her, but they knew they couldn’t fulfill the conditions she set. Until this one man stepped forward and said he could fulfill them. So the Imam got both of them married.

After the first night of the marriage, the wife sees that the husband doesn’t recite the whole of the Quran, nor does he fast, nor does he stay awake in the worship of Allah, she decided to let it roll on for a few weeks to see if there were any changes, there weren’t, so she filed a complaint and asked for a divorce.

They are both taken in front of the judge, and the judge asked, ‘What were the conditions of the marriage?’ the man replied ‘They were for me to recite the whole Quran daily, keep fast for the whole year and to worship Allah all throughout the night.’

The Judge asked, ‘ did you fulfill them? The man calmly answered, ‘…yes.’

The judge answers, ‘you lie, your wife has said that you don’t, that’s why she’s asking for a divorce’.

But the man insisted that he had fulfilled the conditions, so the judge asked, ‘did you recite the full Quran everyday?’ The man answered yes. The Judge, baffled asked, ‘how? How can you do that?’ The man coolly answered, ‘I recite Surah Ikhlas three times a day and according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), reciting Surah Ikhlas three times is equivalent to reciting the whole Quran.’ The Judge was intrigued, so he asked, ‘how did you fast the whole year?’ The man answered, ‘ I fasted for the whole month of Ramadan, then kept another six fasts in the month of Shawwal, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), keeping all of the fast of Ramadan then keeping six fasts in the month of Shawwal, is as if you have fasted for the whole year.’

The Judge remained silent, he couldn’t give a reply saying the man was wrong, so finally he asked, ‘ how did you stay awake all night and worship Allah, when your wife saw you sleeping?’ The Judge thought the man wouldn’t be able to answer this one, but the man, cool as a cucumber answered, ‘I prayed Salatul Isha with jamaat, then the next day prayed Salatul Fajr with jamaat, according to Prophet Muhammad (saw), the one who prays Salatul Isha and Salatul Fajr with jamaat, it is as if he had stayed up all night worshipping Allah.’

The Judge sat there looking at the man; the final verdict was about to be released…

He said to the man and his wife, ‘…go, just go, there is nothing wrong with this marriage’…

source: Iluvislam.com