Virtues of Expressing Condolences

I would like to share a beautiful piece of `ilm that was delivered by an ustaz at the nearby mosque. The ustaz delivered the topic of wailing for dead person, as one of kabaair (major sins). As a human being, we are not immune from having calamities and incidents befall on us. Perhaps we can be proud of our happily ever after married life, but we can`t get rid of the fact that some day we`ll be losing people that we love so much. Facing a death of our loved ones can be so tough, and for some it will be like their lifeline is chopped off. As a Muslim, we are given guidelines on how to act and behave when facing a death. Allah has mentioned in the Quran that a servant of Him will be given various kinds of tests in order to measure his level of piety. One of them is in the form of death of loved ones. As a Muslim, we are given permissibility to feel sad and sorrow when our loved ones die, since it is a natural feeling bestowed from Allah on us. Despite how calm he/she appears upon receiving the news of a death, it might be just on the outside. Deep inside, any normal person should have the sad feeling. It is okay to cry. It is okay to keep silent for some time. However, the problem will appear when the crying turns into wailing, shouting in denial, and to the extent of tearing apart clothes, as some cultures do. This is what a Muslim should stay away from. We should never wailing for dead people. 

On the other side of bridge, relatives or friends of the dead should visit and express their condolences to the family of the dead person. The Ustaz mentioned that there is a reward waiting for the people who do this noble deed, which is a special fur coat designed exclusively to these people. The coat as described by Ustaz, is a pride for us in akheerah just like wearing jeans is a pride for youngsters (especially ladies) in dunya. It is an attire that makes us stand out. Subhanallah, don`t we want that? To me, it is indeed an easy thing to do, yet Allah is Most Gracious and Merciful to His servants. Even with that easy deed, He has promised us a great reward! So let`s do it!

The ustaz further said that when calamities befall on servants, one should check if he/she has one of any below reactions:

1. Thanks Allah for not giving down worse test/calamity

2. Thanks Allah for giving us perseverance to endure this test

3. Thanks Allah for not giving worse test, which is test on our religion (diverted from being dutiful to Allah,etc)